We're done Or are we not?
by cottencande77
Summary: They said it was over, and they were moving on. But can Olivia and Fitz really let go of eachother?
1. Chapter 1

"Fine, we're done. I'm choosing to let you go... After all I am married, I have kids, its not fair to you or the country. It's over. Were done." Fitz said.

It didn't register. I could not comprehend the damage I had done by pushing the love of my life away. She was right... It would hurt me more than him. I couldn't look at him, for fear the tears would escape and I would break. I had to be strong. I had to stop losing it all the time. I get to get my shit together. This is what I wanted right? I wanted him to let me go, to move on... to have a fighting chance at happiness. My wish came true.

I gathered my courage and looked him. His beautiful eyes looked at me with defeat. No emotion of sadness, heartbreak, or anger swam in his eyes. Pure hopelessness and defeat had now encamped themselves in his gaze.

"Okay. We're done." It was a lie. He knew it and I knew it. We could sit here and say we were letting go and I was going to go back to being Olivia Pope, world re-known fixer; he was going to go back and be the leader of the free world, but we would never move on. This was not a fling, it was the tragic romance. We were Romeo and Juliet, Scarlett and Rhett, Olivia and Fitz. We defined the horizons of romances that teenage girls and divorced mothers dreamed of.

We just stared at each other, both knowing that as soon as he left our lives were shattered. Our love would end. I kept waiting for him to say," NO! Dammit Liv, we can fix this. We can fix us. Your the fixer, fix us. I need you, I can't function without you. You have bags under your eyes, and sweet baby; your mine. We can't be done. We are not going to be over. I can walk out of here and never see you again but WE would not be over. My love for you will burn inside me till the day I die. Fix us. Fix me. Do not let me walk away"

Nothing came. Silence swallowed our space whole. Yet we still looked at one another. Me, silently begging him to partake in my day dream. Him, looking at me waving his white flag. He looked lifeless. Slowly he stood up, mumbling about me ordering food. I didn't hear anything. My gaze focused on the space moments ago his muscular body had filled. I broke. Tears of anger, hurt, and despair came pouring from my eyes. By then he had already left, and I was left alone to mend my brought on broken heart.

_One Minute._ I gave myself one minute to cry. One minute to let go of all of my feelings and let my burning soul release its overwhelming emotions. This was my fault... but I knew it had to be done. I couldn't be Anna or Amanda. I couldn't be summoned when he wanted me. I was never going to be his. I couldn't have christmas mornings or fights over the dishes. I couldn't have the children or the date nights. I could have late night phone calls and secret meetings above his office or get away weekends at Camp David three times a year. We were star crossed lovers damned from the beginning, and Olivia Pope should have known better.

I gathered my things and left the restaurant. I walked to the park, walked to my apartment, and then walked to the office. After all, walking was better than crying. Walking allowed me to think. Stepping out of the elevator I quickly noticed no one was here. Thank God. Abby had been interrogating me all week with questions and I couldn't deal with her this evening. "We're done..." His voice echoed through my head like a siren, over and over and over again.

I threw my purse on my desk and sat down on the couch._ I must not cry, I must not cry, I must not cry._ If I said it enough, maybe it wouldn't happen.

"Livvie?" Shit. I did not want to deal with Edison. I didn't want to walk down memory lane, and thats all he wanted to do. He wasn't Fitz. No one would be Fitz...

"In here." I called to him.

"Hey... You did good today. I'm proud of you for putting Mellie on screen, smart move Liv. Bringin the wife into it.. I guess I did teach you something in politics after all?"

I looked at him. His black hair was not as wavy as Fitz's brown spirally hair. His brown eyes did not match gray ones. His hands did not have the rough edge brought on by work at the ranch. There were no wrinkles next to his eyes from lack of sleep or late night phone calls. Edison wasn't Fitz. I wanted Fitz.

"I need to make a phone call. Can you step out for a minute?"

"Uh... yeah sure. Liv... you okay?"

"Yeah, I have a phone call I need to make for a case I'm working on."

I picked up my phone. I had lasted three hours. How weak am I? The great Olivia Pope was a needy, love-sick, broken hearted woman, who needed to call the ex. How sad am I? Dialing with shaking fingers and with lightening speed, I got his voicemail. Damn... I forgot he was flying to Tokyo.

"Hi...it's me. I know we said it's over. I know you said you were letting me go. I know your mad about me dragging Mellie into the Jenna case. I know your mad at me about Edison. I know... I said things. You said things. We didn't mean them... and I know you know that. You asked me to join you in Tokyo... and I'm booking my flight. I'll see you tomorrow Fitz.. I love you."


	2. Chapter 2

"Huck, I need you to book me a flight to Tokyo and get me a room that the President is staying at. Preferably leaving tonight as soon as possible. Get me a list of flights and possible itinerary's and call me back." _Click._

The most beloved trait about Huck is his blind loyalty. He didn't ask pointless questions of why, when, who, what, or how. Huck did, does, and never questions my judgement. He is always willing to take the blame for me, even when my gut is broken and I mess up. I needed to check up on him more. I recently found out that he had been attending AA meetings, which I think is good, but its the fact that he had to resort to that which makes me feel horrible. I had opened doors that Huck had closed long ago, and a hurricane of regret had begun to fill my stomach. Bzzzz. Bzzzzz. Bzzzzz.

"Yeah?"

"Hollis' office, half an hour. It seems Rosen had begun to ask him questions and he is calling a meeting. See you soon." Verna said. _Click._

__Fixing another problem having to do with Lindsay was the last thing I needed. For once, could David learn when to leave some damn things alone? Grabbing my purse quickly, I left my office and saw that Edison had left a note on my desk. _Call me please. _Nope. Calling Edison had to be the last item on my to do list. Now I had to go deal with them. The people who had made my life a living hell for nine months, while I got Olivia Pope and Associates off the ground. It was a good first case don't get me wrong, but the next time I hand a FOF(Friend of Olivia Favor) it is going to be for something much more significant than getting Fitz's first presidential bill on the correct ballot.

I let out a long sigh. I had finally accomplished what I had worked so hard at doing, and pushed the love of my life away. When I saw the way his face had looked at me with such defeat and utter helplessness while he was listing off the reasons why we shouldn't be together, I couldn't help but wonder if finally he had believed what I had been telling him for so long. I pushed the thought away... it was too painful to think about right now. Bzzzzz. Bzzzzz. Bzzzzz.

"What?"

"The only flight available leaves at 9 tonight. I can get you a room as well, on the floor right below him. I'd have to re-make your I.D pass so you get access, but that would take me at least a half an hour." I looked at my watch... it read 8:31. Dammit.

"Don't book it. Thanks anyway Huck." Clearly this week was not my luck. My ex-boyfriend was now harassing me. Abbey was telling the office my guy was broken, which doesn't really bother me besides the fact that she keeps asking questions I can't answer. I had pushed the love of my life away, and NOW I couldn't even fix us which was the only actual problem I wanted to handle. David had decided to do actual research into the case, MONTHS after I had told him Lindsay was innocent. My good luck karma had decided to hit the door apparently.

"I hear we have a David Rosen problem?" I questioned as I entered Hollis' office.

"Yes we do. David came to my office earlier spouting off how he discovered that Lindsay Dwiar's ex-boyfriend had called my office eleven damn times before the explosion. He then demanded to speak to my head of security which I declared he would need a warrant in order to continue." Hollis muttered.

"This needs to be handled NOW. I am not going to be spending the last two years of being the First Lady from a jail cell." Mellie complained.

"Everyone needs to calm do-" Cyrus began.

"Don't give me that crap Cyrus. Your gunna handle this mess, and it is going to be done by yesterday. I am over and done with this shit. We bailed out the floozy of a girl because Liv wanted to, and now its coming back to kick our ass. This has gone on long enough. Fix it. NOW!" Hollis yelled.

"That's enough. I agreed that it was necessary to save the girl. If you want someone to start blaming, I suggest you stop pointing that fat southern finger at Liv, and angle it towards me, and quite frankly Hollis... I would be careful because I bite when attacked." Verna said calmly.

"Listen. Stop yelling fire in the movie theatre before you even see any smoke. You are all freaking out because a silly little defense attorney asked some trivial questions about phone calls. SO what if he ask's about the ex. We did way the hell too good of a job for anyone to find even a spec of dust on anything. Liv and I handled it, if i remember. Alls you two ever did was get us involved in this god-forsaken mess. Drop it. We will fix it, and move on just like we always do. Luckily for me, I have some business I need to attend to. Verna... It is always a pleasure. Hollis... Mellie. See you both soon I'm sure." Cyrus said as he reached for my hand to pull me up.

"Verna I will see you Thursday. Mellie... Hollis. Please don't worry. Go back to focusing on drilling in international waters and keeping Fitz's approval rating what you do best, and let us do what we do best. Cyrus is right... don't yell fire in the movie theatre unless you do see smoke." I said as I closed the door.

"GOD DAMMIT LIVVIE. I am so sick of hearing that psycho babble bullshit from the amateurs. They don't know the damn difference between a liberal and a fucking democrat. I have had it with the irrational freak out sessions over what?! A damn lawyer who we benched. HE ISN'T EVEN IN THE DAMN GAME ANYMORE. We sidelined the poor bastard. We completely shattered his reputation and dis regarded every case he has ever one by ruining this. We smashed his future career into the dust. And alls they can think about is jail time because he asked about a god damn phone call. JESUS. They know nothing about political warfare. I am utterly dumbfounded as to why Hollis still has his job. That dumbass southerner talks slower than a grandmother in a fucking coma."

"Cy...it's fine. We are going to handle it. Ignore them. They are nervous, and honestly they have a little right to be. How would you like to spend the rest of your life in jail? If it gets out what we did... Cy we would be finished. Let them freak out at us, for its better us than to the press. I am just grateful we managed to keep Fitz out of this."

"LORD only knows how we managed that one Liv. I am sure my pagan flesh will be burning for a hundred centuries for that. *sigh* Look Liv... he isn't doing well... God I just... I run a sausage fest. He is the best sausage I have seen in years Livvie. Fitz can actually make a difference and save this damned country. He can put the idiotic democrats back in there place and actually make republicans realize they need to get the fuck off their high horse. And you... you are the best political non student I ever had. You and I made that man become president. He was our baby, Liv. And you just left. I'm not saying you didn't leave for good reasons, maybe you did. But ever since you did, that man has not been great. He has been averagely mediocre. You made him see the potential in all of his decisions and gave him the courage to go through with it. I am a blunt man Liv, you know that. I am telling you right now. If you can't handle being the dirty mistress, then leave him for good. Stop dragging the poor man through the mud. Fix your relationship, or walk away and never come back. Pick one and stick to it. For his sake, and honestly for yours."

"I know Cy... I know. I need you to get me a flight to Tokyo tonight. I need you to handle David until I get back, which should be tomorrow night hopefully if all goes well. I'm going to fix it. I should have a long time ago.. I am sorry. Can you get me out there?"

"Yeah I can call Tom and Hal, they can get you there. It will have to be underground because obviously the world can't know were about to spend thousand and thousands of dollars to sent the president's lover out for a rendezvous in Japan. But I will work my Beene magic and get shit done for you two. Please don't fuck it up again Liv."

"Thanks Cyrus. I'm gunna go back. Call me when you know what time I can leave."

"No Liv. I need my baby back. Your going right now." Cyrus said as he pulled out his beeper to page Tom. He looked back at me with hope in his eyes. "Fix him Liv."


	3. Chapter 3

To say I was nervous would be the understatement of the century. My normally calm and collected stature had turned into an apprehensive teenager getting ready for prom. My hands wouldn't stop shaking, my stomach felt like it was about to erupt, and my head was pounding from the beeps of the airplane. What was I even supposed to say? How do I possibly express how sorrowful I am without sounding like a beggar on the street? What words do I use to ensure him I won't leave him again for the third time?

"This is your captain speaking... we shall be arriving in Tokyo in approximately thirty minutes. We will begin our decent within the next few moments. The seat belt sign will now be turned on. Once again, thank you for flying with us today." The captain muttered with a monotone murmur.

Shit, here we go. The thing about flying is you have no control. Your destiny lies within the captains hands, and nothing but two feet of metal stand between you and a forty thousand foot face plant onto soil. Quite frankly, I used to hate flying with Fitz on his campaign trail and most of the time convinced him to let me take the bus. Damn this man for making me fall in love with him and taking a damn 13 hour flight to Japan...My stomach began to heave as we began our decent... come on breathe. _In, Out. In, Out._

_*Flashback*_

_"Sweet baby?... Sweet baby?" I had never felt more betrayed in my life. He had tarnished his pet name for me with a young helpless girl who he asked me to destroy. I went after that girl and because of me she tried to committ suicide. He used my blind trust in him to obliterate someone's life. Hate, anger, and betrayel began to fuel the fire that was burning in my chest._

_"How could you do that to me? You profess this undying and immaculate love for me... yet you screwed her and used MY NAME for her! MY NAME! It was ours... YOURS AND MINE!" I had began to shout, I must admit. I let my controlled and cool disposition leave me, and a fire breathing woman ignited my soul._

No. I was not going to think about Amanda, the betrayals, the heartbreaks, or the sleepless nights. I had hurt him just as badly as he had hurt me. We had both caused damage to our relationship, maybe even some irrevocable pretenses that we would never be able to fix. Yet, I had to still try. As I walked out to the terminal my phone began to explode with vibrations. 6 missed calls, 4 voicemails, 12 emails, and 16 texts all began to appear at once. ANOTHER REASON I HATE FLYING! Once I turn on my phone the damn thing nearly explodes, and I spend an hour catching up on everything I had missed.

Quickly scrolling through the texts and emails, I realized nothing really mattered right now. I simply needed to get to my hotel and wait for him to finish his meeting. Walking to the bag terminal I began to plan the I'm sorry, I love you, please take me back speech; erasing multiple lines in my head while adding ten more at the same time. My mind had gone to battle with itself in trying to find the one statement that could forever fix our relationship, however I soon realized there wasn't one. One statement couldn't fix a thousand sentences filled with hate. One minute could not fix a thousand minutes spent apart in different people's arms. One phone call couldn't fix sleeping alone by yourself at night. Yet one night... maybe one night could just do the trick. Bzzzzz. Bzzzzz. Bzzzzz.

"I just landed Cyrus. I'm about to pick up my car and drive to the hotel. What's the news on David?"

"Don't worry about that I'm handling it. As of right now Fitz is about a half hour from the hotel, so you two should be arriving at the same time. Just giving you the heads up… does he know your coming"

"I left him a voicemail telling him I was coming. He never called me back. I have to go Cy… I'll keep in touch."

"Okay. Talk soon Liv."

"Hey Cy?"

"Yeah?"

"Do not kill David. He is a good man."

"Yeah just like Lindsay was a good girl, and look where that landed us?"

"I am serious Cy. If you kill him I will unleash my pitbulls, and I have more than one."

"Hahaha. Okay Liv. I promise I will not kill David" _Click._

Driving in Tokyo is a lot like driving in New York City, except everyone is driving in the opposite direction; instead of New York angry swearing you hear Japanese screeching. You see KIAs instead of yellow taxi's, and the smell of burnt rice instead of smoke and gas fills your nostrils. The pandemonium mixed with my anxiety, nausea, and pounding headache wasn't a good feeling. My stomach began to heave once again. I should have just gotten Huck to come with me and drive as I pulled up to turn into the hotel, I found myself blocked by 70 paparazzi. Shit, this really was not my freaking week.

"Huck, I need you to get someone to pick up my car. I left it about a block away from my hotel."

"On it. Did you survive the flight without throwing up?"

"I don't want to talk about it. I'll see you tomorrow evening. Can you keep an eye on David Rosen for me? Find out what he has been digging up on Quinn and check him out. Miss you Huck."

"See you soon Liv. I'll email you the details asap." _Click._

After finally pushing my way through to get to the entrance, I was finally able to reach the entrance. Every time I walk into a Ritz, I never cease to be amazed. The exquisite décor ranging from the marble floors, maple tables, and crystal chandeliers are always candy to my eyes. Making my way to the front desk I pulled my confirmation number from my purse. As soon as I looked up I noticed that the front desk manager was speaking very quickly to the woman working the front desk. That must mean Fitz was almost here. Honestly I had been hoping to grab a bath or shower before I saw him to gather my final thoughts; unfortunately it looked like I wasn't going to be able to afford that luxury. After a few moments I made my presence knows and handed the girl my information. While she was pulling up my reservation I looked down the hallway and say several secret service agents filling through and "clearing" the area. SHIT. My stomach dropped and my nerves flew to record heights above Mount Everest. As soon as I saw sight of him I quickly forced my head to stare directly at the front desk woman. Maybe if I got lucky, he would just enter the elevator with me going unnoticed. Sadly, this wasn't my week though, and I could feel his eyes on me as my hands began to shake even more.

I pretended to search for my wallet in my purse and turned my back on the hallway he was located in. As I heard his footsteps approach me, I tried to clench my fists to stop the shaking.

"Playing coy never really suited you Liv." The way he said my name sounded like a caress, and instantly my hands were finally able to control themselves. I turned slowly and looked into his worn down gray eyes.

"Hi Mr. President, how is your stay in Tokyo treating you?" If I kept it simple, I would be able to get a better aspect on what sort of mood he was in.

"Fine, are you just getting in?"

"Yes my flight just arrived about an hour ago."

"Must be pretty important for you to come here, if you took the time to fly all the way out here. Are you working on a case?"

"Playing coy doesn't suit you Mr. President."

"Touche Livvie."

"Ma'am, you're in room 406, on the fourth floor. The elevators are located just down the hallway on your left. The pool is located just beyond them in case you were interested in swimming during your stay. The restaurant opens for breakfast at 6 and lunch begins at 12. Is there anything else I can assist you with?" The front desk woman said as she interrupted our conversation.

"No, thank you." I said as me and Fitz never broke eye contact.

"May I walk you to your room, Miss. Pope?" Fitz inquired with a smirk.

"You may, Mr. President." I grabbed my purse, while the secret service picked up my bag. He kept looking at me with as though I would disappear at any moment. I deserved that I suppose…he must not have received my voicemail. As we made our way to the elevator my phone started vibrating.

"Yeah?" I said as I looked at Fitz. Damn his eyes were a mighty fine shade of gray. Fitz grabbed my phone roughly and hung up.

"What the hell Fitz?" He pushed me into the elevator and waved his hand at the secret service. With a fiery look in his eyes, he walked towards me. I walked as far back as I could until my back touched the wall. This look meant one thing…and my hands suddenly began to shake.


	4. Chapter 4

There they were, the fierce gray eyes that made my heart flutter with electric speed. They pierced through me, crumbling my walls of defense with one glance. Fitz was the only man that could expose every single emotion that I tried so hard to bury beneath the deepest depths of the ocean. How I ever managed not to cry in front of him as he uttered those morbid words of "I'm letting you go" would always be a mystery to me.

"What are you doing here Liv?" He asked, while placing his arms on either side of me, blockading me in the elevator. Anger was beginning to pour out from his eyes, flowing up to his forehead and transcending down onto his lips as they formed a frown.

"I wanted to—"

"No, Liv. Just… stop. I know why you're here…you know why you're here. You can't keep doing this… we can't keep doing this. I'm done with the ping pong game. You asked me to let you go, so I did. We made plans for me to resign, and then you went behind my back and connived with Mellie and once again, I let you go just like you asked me to. I believe you said "This is the only way." right? He sneered as he moved his face closer and closer to mine. Our lips were centimeters apart, with my eyes fixated on his.

"Fitz I know that I asked you to—"was all I could mutter before his lips crashed into mine. Fire exploded through our mouths as our tongues met and began to dance together. My hands traced the thick muscles of his arms through his shirt as they travelled up to his hair. His fingers found my waist as they pushed me up against him. Passion, lust, love, and yearning blazed through us as the kiss deepened. Fitz let out a soft groan as he suddenly pulled back to catch his breath. There they were again, the gray eyes aflame with need.

"I'm not doing this with you again. I want you, all of you. I don't want to sit on the sidelines and let you slip through my fingers as you ride off into the sunset with that mediocre Senator. This… us…" he grabbed my hand and placed it on his chest, "is our lifeline. You can shout at me in the forest all you want and say you're not mine but **you are.** Either say you mean Olivia, or the next time you push me away… I won't chase you and come back." _Ding._

The elevator doors had opened and my hands had begun to shake wildly. I tried to gain composure as we walked towards my room I used my purse as something to grip to settle my left hand. With my right hand and a courage brought on from the kiss I grabbed his hand and intertwined our fingers.

"I asked you to let me go because late night phone calls and stolen kisses are the definition of a tawdry affair. I refuse to partake in anything less than the quintessential romance. I wanted more, and you could give me more… however you would have paid the ultimate sacrifice and I wasn't willing to let you do that for me. There are certain men that are meant to do certain things. You, Fitzgerald Grand III are meant to do great things. I could not in good conscience be the sole reason for causing the ultimate destruction of one of the greatest administrations the White House would ever see. So instead of making you choose, I chose. I chose to sacrifice us, I chose to leave you, I chose to ask you to let me go because what other options did I have?!"

"YOU COULD HAVE TALKED TO ME!" Fitz yelled.

"Can you grow up and not screech at me in the middle of a hallway?" I muttered as I pulled out my room key. Fitz began to fume and balled his hands into fists. Slowly I slid I unlocked the door, trying to buy myself some time. I was about to be lectured like a six year old and was going to detest every damn minute of it. Fitz shoved me into the room and I spun around frenziedly.

"What the hell? First you shatter my phone recklessly and now you shoving me around? Are you finished with your testosterone pissing show?" I fumed.

"Don't lecture me on irrationality. You're the one who made a deal with the devil twice."  
"You're the one who married her." I sneered as I stepped closer to him. We stood scrutinized each other while the sexual tension began to feel like a thick cloud of fog in the room. His chest was rising and falling rapidly as his heavy breathing increased. Lust began to pool in his eyes and my fingers clenched into fists. I was not going to kiss him again. We needed to talk things through and not just have sex like we always did. Bedding him tonight wouldn't solve our monumental problems.

"I'm not sleeping with you, so stop fucking me with your eyes." I ranted.

Fitz let out a laughing roar while he went to my mini bar and grabbed a glass. After finishing his drink he let out a long desperate sigh, as if trying to desperately grasp a solution to our problem. There wasn't a book on how to have a relationship with a married president who had a business arrangement for a marriage. There wasn't a passage in the bible telling you how to not love someone who made your soul burn with life. There wasn't a Dear Judy section in the newspaper explaining how to decipher their chaotic relationship to make it somewhat functional.

"Fitz… I… I don't know how to fix this. I don't know how to wait every night for a phone call that may or may not come. I don't know how to sleep alone at night knowing your sharing a bed with her and don't interrupt me. I know you aren't sleeping with her but she is able to be there when I'm not. You are able to hold her hand in front of the entire nation and have children with her. I'M NOT!" I began to sob desperately trying to speak everything I planned on the plane and I just rambled, like a blabbering idiot. "I can't give you everything she can. I refuse to be the other woman. I know that's not what you think I am, but it is. I AM YOUR MISTRESS. I'm not the mother of your children, or your wife. I don't want to give you up for the nation, I want to be selfish and make you mine and let you divorce her and marry me but I can't. Its not fair to Karen and Jerry, its not fair to the people of the United States who voted for you to be the leader of the free world. I want you every minute of every day, but I can't have you… and that is why I asked you to let me go. Because it would be easier for us to walk away than to face the obscene amount of obstacles that are bound to come our way if we keep making the late night phone calls or you if you keep coming over at two o'clock in the morning for a booty call. I don't know how to fix this, but I desperately want to."

I walked shakily over and grabbed Fitz's drink out of his hand, downing it in a singular motion. He grabbed my hand after I set the glass down and looked at me, his gray eyes filled with pain, confusion, and love. He didn't know how to fix it either…and like fools we fell back into old patterns. Instead of talking and fixing the problem, we kissed our troubles away. Instead of searching for a solution, we moved as one thrusting our troubles into a reality where we didn't exist.


	5. Chapter 5

Sated; that was the only way to describe how I felt. Every wrinkle and kink maneuvered its way out of my body with every kiss that Fitz planted on me. Relaxation had once again become my friend, bringing sleep with it as a companion. However, my awakening was not filled with such delightful peace; rather with distant cousins known as cold and loneliness.

I stretched my arm out feeling with my fingers for his warm body and instead felt frigid and desolate sheets. I opened my eyes and quickly searched my hotel room looking for any sign that Fitz had been in my room. No socks or jeans were lying dirty on the floor. No notes were tucked under the standard hotel coffee cups. H e had just left with no goodbyes' or we'll talk later's. The only remote trace he had left was the lingering smell of his Chanel cologne. Bzzzz. I looked over at the nightstand and noticed a new phone; apparently Fitz did have the decency to leave me a replacement phone. Bzzzz. Bzzzzz.

"Pope."

"Hi dirty mistress. How was the sexed up rendezvous? According to Thorngate, I could only catch the first half, it was pretty good."

"Cyrus I am not discussing this with you. What's the situation with David?"

"James has been off with his father for the week; help a poor gay man out Livvie. The idiotic wannabe attorney general lawyer Rosen, is not behaving himself. He has made some interesting choices of company however. Your ginger BFF has also been having sexed up rendezvous with old men."

"Abby is mine… I will deal with it. When is the soonest you can get me back to DC?"

"No. You're not coming home until you and Big Fitz work things out…little Fitz doesn't count. I'll deal with bad ginger."

"Cyrus, she's a friend. I know we need to keep Defiance locked down, but enough people have been damaged beyond repair because of the choices we've made to protect what we all did. We can't keep destroying lives like this...just handle it the right way. I know she has to get hurt but try to nibble and not bite. Please Cyrus."

"Fine. Fitz has meetings until six today. Use your time wisely please and fix it already. I'll call you when I have it handled."

"I don't care what the situation is, I am leaving tomorrow Cyrus. I can't put my life on hold until he decides to forgive me. Life doesn't work that way."

"So touchy. I'll speak to Tom and makes sure a plane is on standby for tomorrow."

"No, I want it ready for tonight. I have other cases that need my attention. I doubt much will be solved tonight anyway." _Click._

*Flashback*

"What the fuck did I just do…?" I thought as I frantically tiptoed around the room trying to gather my clothing as quietly as possible so I didn't wake Fitz. I did it. I slept with the Republican married presidential candidate two months before elections. I have become the other woman… oh my god…I'm a whore. I'm a slut. I'm such an evil person.

"Liv?" Fitz mumbled as he slowly woke up from his sleep.

"Hey… I was just getting dressed and about to head to my room before anyone woke up.. um but…uh…thanks…for uh…last night. It was great…exactly what I needed to uh…relieve the campaign stress. So…uh…yeah see you around…" I awkwardly stuttered as I fled from the room. Sprinting as my life depended on it I slipped into my room as threw myself on the bed. I'm a whore. I am going straight to hell. How did I get here? When did I become the person who sleeps with married men? That's not me…what am I doing?_ Knock, Knock, Knock._

Oh shit. I slowly walked over to my door and looked through the peep hole. There was Fitz in all of his glory with his just-fucked hair and dreamy gray eyes. If I let him in here I'm bound to jump his bones. Pretend to be in the shower Liv… I sprinted to the bathroom and turned the water on full blast. HA.

"You know Liv… If your going to pretend to be in the shower you should have it turned on before the person gets to the door."

Smart ass… Hastily I went to the door and slowly opened it.

"Hi sorry I was just about to hop in the shower. Did I leave something in your room?" Fitz pushed me aside and let himself in. "Governor Grant I don't think it would be wise for you to be found fornicating in my room at this hour, so unless I left something I think it would be best if you leave."

"Olivia Pope for the last time, while its just me and you, stop calling me Governor Grant. I'm Fitz to you. And last night wasn't a, what did you call it… campaign stress reliever? Last night was the beginning of us, you and me together." The last sentence he spoke with a wispy rasp that almost made my pants drop by themselves. "It wasn't a one night stand or a "quick fuck". Last night was real and earth shatteringly good, so please don't treat it like it was a onetime thing. Because I want more… more one minutes, more one nights, and more of me on top of one of you."

And with that last sentiment I launched myself at him throwing us both back on the bed where I immediately began stripping us both…

*End Flashback*

No. I wasn't going to go back there. Happy memories and passionate nights were gone from our relationship. Last night was a punish fuck, in which Fitz unleashed the wolf inside of him and took every bit of his anger out on my body. There was no talking or love exchanged…just pure fury and lust.

I looked at the clock and noticed it was already one. Picking up my phone I quickly called Huck.

"What did you find on David?"

"Him and Abby starting sleeping together about a week ago, it looks like he had his assistant dig up back ground checks on all of us except you. He has a detailed file on Quinn and Abby with only miniscule facts on me and Harrison. I planted a bug so I have audio and visual. He has a wall of pictures in his apartment dedicated to pictures of you, Quinn, and all or pending facts relevant to the case. He seems to be adding a little more every day. Abby has just of yesterday become involved in helping him."

"Okay. Thanks Huck. Cyrus is going to handle this but I want to know what he plans on doing. Make sure Abby doesn't get irrevocably damaged by his plan. I should be back tomorrow morning or night. Keep me posted. Also can you have a laptop sent to my room as soon as possible? I have some time to kill and I want to work. Also can you email the president's schedule for today and tomorrow?"

"Consider it handled. Also, Quinn came to my office earlier today. She was asking questions about her kidnapping and I think she should have it put together in about two and a half hours max. Do you want me to plant a bunny trail or let her find out?"

"Let her figure it out. She will come back to you with the information she finds. Tell her how you and I did it, but explain to her the why can't come right now. I'll let you decide how you want to explain that. We can't tell her about defiance ever, but this will buy us some time to come up with a different story."

"Understood." _Click._


	6. Chapter 6

By the time six o'clock came around anger had begun to cripple my thought process and I just wanted to scream. How could he have just left me like that? Who the hell did he think he is? I know, Fitz was a selfish asshole. Well that's it. For once I wasn't going to be a gladiator. I was putting down my guns and my calm and collected stature. I am sick and tired of being so damn strong all the time. For once I was going to be an Olivia Pope who went to the Japanese bar in her hotel, and get god damned smashed.

After three sake's and four Sapporo's I was slurring like a motherfucker and had developed a southern accent. My watch looked like the spinner in twister and the bar tender kept speed talking in Japanese shouting things at me that I had no understanding. I reached in my wallet and grabbed my money, paying much more than the bill actually was, and turned around in my spin chair. Directly behind me was Hal sitting at a table with Rob. Very indiscreetly I marched right over to them.

"You know Hal; you never really were good at staying hidden behind the nonexistent trees back in DC." I slurred.

"Ma'am. I think it's time we took you upstairs."

"No, I beg to differ Hal. I think me and you and your little boy here Rob should all have one last drink. Then you can deliver me to the big bad wolf where I'll get lectured for being a non adult for once." There, that sure told him.

"Um… Ma'am. We are on strict orders to deliver you when you have reached a…certain point in the evening."

"I am perfectly capable of walking to the elevator and pushing a button thank you very much. You tell that stuff shirt upstairs I do not wish to see him and I shall be leaving tonight on the plane that Cyrus has so wonderfully placed on standby for me. You tell him that Cyrus actually had the decency to make sure I wasn't abandoned and left alone in this city. You mark that last part down Hal and make sure he hears every damn word, that pretentious asshole." Alcohol fueled my rage and I started blubbering like an idiot. Slowly I stood up and managed like a drunk idiot to turtle pace myself to the elevator door. I could tell that Rob was standing near me making sure I didn't stumble. As I stepped into the elevator I made sure to give him a good sneer for treating me like a child. Really, I should be glaring at Fitz for leaving me. I should be taking all of this out on him but I was being an idiot and yelling at the poor damn guards. Tomorrow I was going to feel even worse and end up embarrassingly apologizing to both of them. Shit. Only I could pep talk myself in the elevator and depress myself to death.

As soon as the doors opened to my floor I marched to my room with my head held high. I wasn't going to wish that he was in my room. It was not going to affect me either way if he showed up or not because he didn't even have the dignity or the respect to even utter a goodbye. Capital A asshole for sure. However, my wishes were not granted. Instead doom filled its place, for leaning against my door with his shirt unbuttoned at the top in a Louis Vuitton suit, stood my beautiful Fitz.

"Go away." I slurred.

"That's not very nice." Fitz smirked.

"You're not very nice."

"Ask me why I left yesterday."

"No."

"Olivia… ask me why I left yesterday."

"As I told you at Camp David, I don't do what you say anymore. No." I pushed him aside and opened my door. I turned around and attempted to close it in his face but in my drunken stupor I failed miserable and Fitz slipped in anyway.

"I had a meeting. I needed to be there so I didn't want to wake you."

"Wow, I didn't know lying was part of the Grant repertoire. Glad to know it finally made is way onto the list."

"What are you talking about?"

"I know your itinerary you jackass. Huck emailed it to me this morning. If there was a meeting clearly I would have known about it, therefore wouldn't have been mad that you left me like a tramp without even saying bye. This isn't my first ride on the merry go round, I played the slutty mistress for awhile…or did you forget?"

"You and I both know that you were not a mistress. You were more than that…much more than that. And me being the jackass actually did have meeting with the North Koreans and Iran. It doesn't make its way into the books because as you know, being the smart beautiful ass that you are, they can't be at the G8. Any other unforgivable and damning crimes you would like to punish me for?"

"Fuck you. You know I hate it more than anything in the world when you leave me like that. It screams mistressey and slutty when you punish fuck me and leave."

"I'm going to let that go because clearly Japanese alcohol and Olivia don't mix. You don't have the right anymore to tell me when and where I apologize or say hello or say goodbye. You pushed me away, remember? You're the one who is keeping company with ex boyfriends and scheming with Mellie behind my back. You're the one who keeps leaving, NOT ME!"

"Yeah I did those things, but shall we back track Fitz? Two words and two sentiments, very small and very lethal…Amanda Tanner and Presidential election. You remember those right? You remember asking me to cover up the affair that you had with your sparkly new flavor of the month? You know what my favorite part was though right? When you lied to my face… you had me convinced that you didn't, that you couldn't go there. You implored that it was beneath you, you couldn't "fall for some young girl". Those were your words right? Haha… no lets keep bringing up my ex-fiance. The one I dumped for you…the one that I keep turning down for you. FOR YOU. But yes, lets keep bringing up how I'm sleeping with old boyfriends who are "everything I ever dreamed of". I have given up everything for you. You couldn't even imagine the things that I have done to insure that your precious presidency doesn't get fucked up. I've hurt people I love, I have ruined peoples lives and reputations, and for what? So you can go fuck Amanda and ask me to cover it up for you. So do me a favor Fitz, and go use your pretty boy high horse act somewhere else. I came back here to work things out with you, offer myself as your whore again but clearly you don't want me anymore."

"Are you done?" Fitz asked extremely calm. Umm… what?

"Yes." I managed to whisper before I broke down in sobs. Fitz slowly walked over and hugged me while I continued to cry. After a few minutes we walked over to the bed and laid down. Eventually the tears stopped falling and my body began to stop shaking. With my body next to his I found my safe haven and calmed completely down. I rolled over and stared into his gray eyes, the same gray eyes that provided solace in desolate times. The eyes that expressed such devotion in times of desperate need. His eyes were the eyes that saved me.

"Fitz…?" I whispered.

"Yes Livvie?"

"Will you stay with me tonight…and be here when I wake up?"

"Yes Livvie. Come here." With that command he wrapped me in his arms and I rested my head against his chest. "Sleep sweet baby."

"Fitz?"

"Mhmm?"

"I love you…thank you for putting up with me."

"I'll always put up with you Liv. I just don't know if you can put up with me… We'll talk about it tomorrow. I managed to finish up all my meetings early and I'm going back with you tomorrow. We have the whole day. Sleep babe…I'm not going anywhere."


End file.
